Can a eulogy be funny? Here’s why the saddest occasions make for the most funny speeches.
Yes, a eulogy can be funny. As a professional eulogy writer, I’m here to reassure you that just like funerals, jokes are full of tension. You get to release that as you honour the person you’ve lost, and create a meaningful, heartfelt goodbye, that brings people together.
If you’re asking yourself, does a eulogy have to be sad?
No. In fact, two aspects of comedy and joke-telling that create laughs are present when you’re giving a eulogy. They are tension and recognition.
A good joke = Set up (tension) + punchline (release)
Now, it’s a funeral, I know you don’t want to generate tension. However, the reality is that when delivering a eulogy you have one of the most tense audiences you’re likely to find. Why?
They’ve come to a service that honours someone who has died. And the great big elephant in the room is that they will all have some feelings. And what do we do when we’ve got big feelings? We try to avoid them. And what does that lead to? Tension.
So, hey presto, when you step up to do your eulogy. Those people looking at you are quietly desperate for you to give them a way to release that tension. To let them cry, or… let them laugh and let it all out.
So, how do you deliver an upbeat eulogy?
Remember this: Laughter comes from recognition.
We laugh when we see something of ourselves. The entirety of social media is built on people seeing things, sharing them with someone they love, and saying either “this is so me”, “this is so you”, or “this is so us”. We laugh when we see ourselves or something we recognise.
Now, back to that tense bunch of people trying not to feel their feelings. What do those people listening to your eulogy have in common? They are all there to honour the loss of the person you are about to talk about. They all know that person, have memories of that person, and have big feelings about that person.
So, what do you have to do to make them laugh, how do you decide what’s appropriate in a eulogy?
You just remind people of that person who has passed away. And let the people listening recognise and remember the person and how they feel about them.
Tell stories that affectionately remind them all of the person they’ve lost. They’ll smile as they recognise that person.
Remind them of that person’s successes, and let everyone laugh at how they tried.
Remind them of that person’s failures, they will really laugh at how they failed.
Remind them of why you loved them, why they made you smile, they’ll remember why they loved them and they’ll smile with you.
Remind them of the time you couldn’t help but laugh at something they did, we will not be able to help ourselves from laughing.
So, can a eulogy be funny?
The answer is yes, and not only that, it’s the funniest you’re ever going to be AND you’re not going to have to try very hard…
There is little to consider fortunate about planning a funeral. However, as the person delivering the eulogy, you're gifted with an audience loaded with tension.
You’re going to burst all that tension with recognition. Simply remember the person that brought you all together. And in recognising that person, our thoughts, feelings, and memories about them, we will laugh (and cry) and we will be brought closer together.
