Is an elegy the same as a eulogy? Simplifying the language of loss.
If you’re telling tales about a person who you love and respect who’s died, you’re giving a eulogy. If you’ve woven words into rhymes or to a tune, you’re likely giving an elegy.
Elegy vs Eulogy: Let’s get into it…
Both elegy and eulogy may be used about a piece of writing or a speech that remembers a person who has died.
So, what is a eulogy?
A eulogy is simply about words spoken in any form about the deceased. It’s rooted in Greek words meaning praise. I like to think of it as an opportunity to speak the praises of a person we have lost. Depending on what kind of person they were in life, will really help to decide exactly how you choose the words to do that. They can be personal, sad, or even (and often) very funny. Can a eulogy be funny? Yes, click to read more on my blog post here.
It’s a tiny language overlap.
What is an elegy?
Elegy is a plainly beautiful word, that you can trace it back to the Greek word elegos which means, “song of mourning”. A song or a lament for one who is dead. It could be a poem, in rhyming elegiac couplets, or some kind of musical composition.
If you ask history, what are the three types of elegy? It might give you these options:
Personal Elegy: A personal expression of grief or sorrow for someone the speaker knew and cared for.
Public Elegy: This mourns the loss of a public figure or a public tragedy.
Pastoral Elegy: This elegy may draw on nature as a metaphor for loss and mourning.
An example for an imperfectly rhyming elegy I wrote to music for the loss of a friend:
Hush now, there’s nothing more to do
Nowhere to run, no one to come home to
Hush now, there’s nothing left for you
Because the lights are out, and the curtains are drawn at thirty two
Listen to the full version of this song on YouTube here, click here.
What are the rules of an elegy?
To keep it simple… An elegy rhymes. Most elegies are written in groups of four lines. Some use pairs of two lines that rhyme.
What is a eulogy?
Words spoken from the heart or from your funny bone about a person you’ve lost.
Should you choose a eulogy or an elegy?
You can speak your loss in the way that most perfectly suits the person, your grief, or the ceremony.
The case for an elegy
If your person was a lover of poetry or music, perhaps you’ll find the best way to honour them is an elegy.
Lean into the language possibilities available to you in that medium.
Take this tribute as a chance to try something you might never have considered possible. If you feel called by your grief to write in rhyme… Now’s your time.
If you can hear yourself saying, “I’ve got a funeral to organise, who’s got time to rhyme?” I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to.
The case for a eulogy
Maybe you’d prefer to tell jokes, one of a kind stories, and memories, about the person you have lost. You don’t want to faff around trying to organise them into rhyming or perfectly poetic couplets. You. Do. Not. Have. To. Sometimes the most elegant way to honour someone is to speak plainly from the heart and let the beauty of their memory carry the moment.
Whatever you’d like to choose, I am here to support you.
