How to overcome fear of public speaking?
Maybe it is not failure that you fear, but the reality that you might actually succeed…
When people reach out to me as a public speaking coach, a big part of the support they want, naturally, is to overcome the fear of public speaking. The following is a gentle challenge to help you get really clear about what it is you’re looking to overcome.
We might think we’re frightened of our shaky voice, or of the fumbling burble of nonsense spilling out of our dry mouths. Maybe we’re scared of our co workers, our future employers, or even what our friends think of us. I propose to you that the thing you fear most is your future self. The version of you that took the risk to speak up, that did the thing they said they were going to do, and then found out that once they did, there really was very little they could not do.
THE JOURNEY TO overcomING fear of public speaking IS A TALE OF Two futures
Another year of staying quiet in meetings and watching opportunities pass by
Speaking up, stumbling through, discovering that you survived public speaking, and moving forward with more confidence
ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF AN old story that keeps fear alive?
When we tell ourselves that public speaking is too scary. That we need to overcome the fear of public speaking to do it. We are believing an old story about ourselves. It is a tale that takes the things we have been afraid of in the past and turns them into the reasons we cannot do what we want to do in the future. The hard truth is that fear ends when you do the thing you are afraid to do.
Why fear of PUBLIC SPEAKING success can be stronger than fear of failure
It’s a mischievous monkey-like-voice in your mind.
I firmly believe we are far more terrified of succeeding than we are of failing. Taking the risk to try might give you exactly what you want, which means you can no longer protect yourself with the fantasy that begins with the words “one day I will be ready to x y z.”
And that is honestly quite scary.
“Avoiding self promoting behavior is also potentially related to associating success with negative consequences.”
(Hermann I and Betz N E, University of Bern, 2020. European Journal of Psychology of Education)
If you give even the most imperfect presentation, speech, or talk, you might open up possibilities you had never imagined. And that means you might have to follow through on them.
BREAKING THE TRANCE OF “ONE DAY” tHINKING
A trance is a psychological state where attention narrows and awareness of the present moment fades. When you live in a one day fantasy, you are in a kind of trance. You tell yourself that everything meaningful will begin later, which creates a soothing illusion of safety. But this pattern freezes you in place. By constantly postponing action, you create a quiet ending in the present.
Here is a simple way to bring yourself back to the present
Write down the exact “one day” story you are telling yourself about public speaking.
Name one specific tiny action that would bring that future closer.
Do it as soon as you can. Take that action, no matter how small, whether that is sending a message, sharing an idea, or speaking up once in a meeting.
takeaway
When you next think about how to overcome the fear of public speaking, remember that what feels like fear of failure may actually be fear of your own potential. Speaking up might show you that people really want to hear what you have to say. Every time you take that step, you prove to yourself that you belong in the room. Real growth begins small, in many mini moments of courage that lead to a confident public speaker. Each one proving that using your voice, however imperfectly, is the way forward.
I’m Doug, I’m a speechwriter and public speaking coach in London, working with clients online and all over the world. A big part of my belief as a public speaking coach is that what we resist persists. So, in my work, I focus on uncovering the obstacles that prevent you from expressing yourself effortlessly. By addressing personal, professional, and even emotional blocks, we engage in meaningful work to overcome our limitations and be heard. Using an inside-out approach, I guide you in exploring fears, weaknesses, and practical delivery techniques, while providing non-judgmental support for your personal growth.
