How to remove fear of public speaking?
It’s time to make friends with the public speaking monster and explore how learning to play with it could well be the answer you’ve been looking for all along.
Just like I say when people hire me to be their public speaking coach, fear is not something we should ever get rid of. The real power and change comes from when we learn to make a friend of fear, rather than relegating it to the role of monster we must conquer at all costs.
TO REMOVE THE FEAR OF public speaking, FIRST WE MUST NAME THE monster.
According to psychology textbooks, “Fear is a basic, intense emotion aroused by the detection of an imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism.”
In plain English, it’s that feeling that jumps out at you when you think about speaking in public and makes you want to hop-foot it in the opposite direction.
So, when you feel that jolt of fear before speaking in public, just remember it’s your nervous system telling you there’s a monster in the room and you better run for your life. The truth is your body is reacting to a perceived threat, not a real one.
We’ve named the name public speaking monster, but how does it talk TO YOU?
It’s a mischievous monkey-like-voice in your mind.
It says:
Do NOT take risks → Risks equal vulnerability → Vulnerability equals fear → Fear equals death.
No wonder we’re terrified. As humans evolved, that fear of real monsters was very useful. But now, when the voice tells you a presentation/talk/speech will end in disaster, not so much.
There’s great wisdom in feeling the fear and doing it anyway. What if we could name the fear, hear it clearly, and then play anyway? Play itself is one of the quickest ways to calm the nervous system and keep us present instead of panicked.
As researchers in psychology note:
“Play is not only a leisure activity but an essential behavioral process that promotes learning, creativity, and flexibility. It engages brain circuits involved in reward, stress regulation, and social interaction, and may serve as a natural mechanism for regulating the nervous system and adapting to change.”
— A Brain Motivated to Play: Insights into the Neurobiology of Playfulness, Frontiers in Psychology (2017).*
Read the full article here
Like the monsters under the bed we feared as children which turned out to be shadows, fear often disappears when you turn the light of play on.
So, what is your monster under the bed when it comes to public speaking?
Do you fear that if you give a talk you’ll make a fool of yourself?
Are you frightened that using your voice for what you really want will make you look stupid?
Terrified the crowd will turn on you and chant in unison what an absolute idiot you are?
The reality is that audiences aren’t there to judge you. No offence, but life is already long and often dull. Nobody signs up for more of that. People are far more likely to be hoping you do well and maybe even entertain them for a moment.
Learning to play with YOUR PUBLIC SPEAKING monster
When you’re next preparing to speak, remember: you don’t need to chase the monster away. Just get to know it.
Look around the room. Label five things you can see. It’s a quick trick to ground your nervous system.
Notice your body. What sensations are there, wibbly, jiggly, tight, fluttery?
Return to the room. Name five new things you can see. Take your time.
Talk to your monster. Try lines like:
“Hello, fluffy monster friend. You’ve shown up to warn me I’m in danger, that means I must be doing something important.”
“You can sit in the audience if you like, but I’m the one speaking today. I’ll take your notes afterwards.”
“Thanks for reminding me this matters. I’ve got it from here.”
This simple practice helps anchor you in the present while transforming fear from a threat into a companion.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO REMOVE THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
Fear doesn’t vanish, and it doesn’t need to. The way to overcome the fear of public speaking is to change your relationship with it: name it, listen without obeying, invite it along for the ride, and speak anyway.
So the next time fear shows up, smile and say:
“You’re a beast, but I quite like playing with you. Now, let’s go talk to some people.”
I’m Doug, I’m a speechwriter and public speaking coach in London, working with clients online and all over the world. A big part of my belief as a public speaking coach is that what we resist persists. So, in my work, I focus on uncovering the obstacles that prevent you from expressing yourself effortlessly. By addressing personal, professional, and even emotional blocks, we engage in meaningful work to overcome our limitations and be heard. Using an inside-out approach, I guide you in exploring fears, weaknesses, and practical delivery techniques, while providing non-judgmental support for your personal growth.
If you would like to discuss your next speaking opportunity and how I can help you, explore my public speaking coaching services here.
